Drugs. What a fascinating topic. It’s a word that elicits so many different reactions from people. Some folks hear the word and immediately think of the dangers and the harm that they can cause. Others, on the other hand, think of the euphoria and the excitement that drugs can bring. Me? Well, I just think about how much fun it is to talk about them. So, let’s get into it.

First off, I’m not here to advocate for drug use. That’s not my job. I’m just a guy who enjoys talking about the absurdity of it all. And let’s be real, there’s a lot of absurdity when it comes to drugs.

Let’s start with marijuana. Ah yes, the devil’s lettuce. The gateway drug. The drug that will turn you into a lazy, unproductive, and unmotivated member of society. At least that’s what your grandparents would have you believe. But let’s be real, marijuana is pretty harmless. Sure, it can make you a little bit forgetful and it might give you the munchies, but it’s not exactly the end of the world.

And yet, we still have people out there who want to demonize it. “Oh, but it’s illegal!” they cry. Yeah, well, so was alcohol at one point. And let’s be real, alcohol is way more dangerous than marijuana. At least with marijuana, you’re not going to end up in a drunken brawl or crash your car into a tree.

Now, let’s talk about cocaine. Ah yes, the rich man’s drug. The drug that’ll give you confidence, energy, and a deviated septum. If you’ve never tried cocaine, consider yourself lucky. It’s a hell of a drug. It’ll make you feel like you’re on top of the world for about 20 minutes, and then you’ll crash harder than a Boeing 747.

But here’s the thing about cocaine: it’s expensive. And if you’re not careful, it can quickly spiral out of control. Before you know it, you’re snorting lines off the back of a toilet in a dive bar bathroom. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

And yet, we still have people out there who think that cocaine is cool. They think it’s a status symbol. But let me tell you something, there’s nothing cool about having a drug addiction. There’s nothing cool about being broke because you spent all your money on drugs. And there’s definitely nothing cool about having a hole in your nose.

Moving on, let’s talk about ecstasy. Ah yes, the love drug. The drug that’ll make you feel like you’re floating on a cloud of pure joy. It’s like hugging a rainbow.

But let’s be real, ecstasy is pretty dangerous. You have no idea what’s in those pills. It could be pure MDMA, or it could be a cocktail of rat poison and laundry detergent. And yet, people still take it. Why? Because it feels good.

And that’s the problem with drugs. They feel good. They make you forget about your problems for a little while. But then, when the high wears off, you’re back to reality. And sometimes, reality can be a harsh mistress.

But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a guy who likes to make jokes. And there’s definitely no shortage of material when it comes to drugs. So, in conclusion, don’t do drugs. Unless, of course, you’re a comedian. Then, it’s practically a job requirement.